I made a choice
I don’t want to hurt anymore. I don’t want to feel anything. I don’t want to live this way anymore. you completely broke me and I can’t stand being so broken again. the worst part is knowing that yet again, you weren’t good enough for yet another person. so maybe it’s not them.. maybe it’s you. maybe you’re not good enough. and maybe you never will be. I don’t feel like I ever will be. I feel half alive. I’m no longer me. I’m not strong enough. I’m scared I’ll never be good enough. I’ll never find someone that to me is good enough for me, and to them I’m good enough to them. & I don’t want to settle. But I don’t want to be alone. I want to be in love and happy and good enough and have the most amazing proposal because it’ll be to you. with a happy engagement planning what will be an amazing wedding and an even happier marriage and then we’ll buy a house and have three beautiful babies and watch them grow up far faster than they should. we’ll raise them into amazing people watch them start an amazing live, the way we should be doing. & I’ll cry the day you walk our baby girl down the aisle. and we’ll get grand babies and grow old together just as crazy in love. but you already left. & I don’t want it if it’s not with you. because I’ll never do better than you. I’ve said it a million times that you were the sexiest man I had ever laid eyes on and I absolutely meant it. you’ll always be the best I had and I don’t want to settle for less. I don’t even ever want to put myself out there again. I couldn’t give anyone anything of me ever again. not only because I’ve given you everything I have but because if I ever got any of me back I’ll never be the same and I could never take the chance of getting hurt again, I could sit in my room for months. I cant stand feeling so low. I cant stand constantly never feeling good enough for anyone in your life. knowing deep down that you’ll never be good enough for those people.
I can’t lie, you still cross my mind.
Anonymous asked: why do you wanna get 'big' its so ugly for girls. Im not sending you hate but i think you'll look so nice otherwise.
So I can crush you on the pavement. Make you look like a little bitch.
Eat your soul for breakfast just a couple reasons.